Roller Coaster

Last week I heard about two friends from the dental hygiene program. One of the girls completed the first year of hygiene with us (and spent the first nine weeks being partners with me in clinic, until we realized we were supposed to trade partners every three weeks and we hadn't been! Lets just say, I really knew the inside of her mouth) and then was diagnosed with cancer over the summer. Because she was going through chemo treatments she did not complete the senior year with us, but came back the following year to complete her senior year. She was scheduled to graduate this April, having completed all of the dental hygiene courses and classwork. Its somewhat unbelievable to me that she worked so hard at dental hygiene, while struggling with cancer, treatments, and hospitalizations. She passed away this weekend, reminding me all too strongly of how precious and fragile life really is.
The other friend from dental hygiene had a baby several months early not too long after graduation. He lived for five months in the NICU. After some recent problems, they decided to let him go back to our Heavenly Father and took him off the ventilator that has been keeping him alive. I can't imagine how this couple must feel after receiving so much hope that improvement was coming!
Sterling bought me a new paring knife on Saturday. Our original was a gift from our wedding, and the metal part dug into my palm when I used it to cut. I was more than ecstatic about getting a really nice paring knife. And every time I use it I get so excited, and I just love Sterling so much!
I had a baby check-up today, and our baby is growing and kicking, and her heart is beating and everything looks good. I even gained five pounds since my last visit! Haahaa. I get so excited to be a mom and hold her and dress her and watch her with her daddy.
There are such BIG things in life, and there are so many LITTLE things in life(like paring knifes), and I feel like Sterling and I are being blessed with EVERYTHING right now. But I am also very grateful that I can feel sorrow as well as peace about the struggles in the lives around me because of my knowledge of the plan of salvation and eternal families. I am incredibly thankful that Sterling and I are sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. And that baby Ruthie will be able to be sealed to us when she is born.

19 weeks

Not much is new here. I still take my anti-nausea medicine every once in a while when I know its going to be rough without it. Although, sometimes I bring the whole being sick thing on myself. Like Saturday night. Sterling worked and so I never really made a meal for myself in the evening. I had made ham and beans (I'd been craving the kind my mom makes on Saturday afternoons when you can smell it all day long..but I didn't have a ham bone, so it didn't taste quite as delectable) and eaten that around four thirty-ish. Then I just kinda snacked for the rest of the evening. Bad idea. You know when your body is telling you that you are more hungry than a snack will fulfill, but you ignore it because you don't want to think about getting out a meal-sized amount of food???? It's one of my biggest problems with being pregnant. It's not that I deprive myself of food, especially because I want my baby to be healthy, and its not that I don't WANT to eat. Its just that I feel like I am ALWAYS eating and ALWAYS hungry and ALWAYS trying to make some kind of meal, that I get tired of it. And so, as a product, last night I got very sick. Sad sauce. I had an apple at around nine, right as I was getting into bed, and then Sterling got home from work, and we were both reading in bed (that happens very rarely, and it was a rather nice treat) when I started feeling sick. So I cuddled up to Sterling and tried to fall asleep to make it go away. Instead, a few minutes later I quickly got up and threw up for what seemed like an eternity. Then, because I was still feeling sick and I could tell it was from being hungry, I ate two peices of toast and tried to fall asleep again. Sterling was an absolute angel the entire time and stayed awake and gave me hugs.

I know, I know, it was all my own fault. But it wasn't like I was starving myself! I'd eaten a big meal at four thirty, eaten a peice of toast later on, some green beans, and then an apple. I just get so tired of being HUNGRY!

Thats pretty much all I have to complain about at 19 weeks. Except I am starting to be an annoying size. My normal clothes aren't really fitting...although luckily I'm still doing fine at work because my scrubs still fit. Another lucky thing, I got a bag of clothes from Amy and it had a pair of pants that was one size bigger than my own, and a really STRETCHY material(I have them on in the pictures). I wear them every day. They are SO comfortable. They're Express jeans, which means they are cute too. And I don't really know what to do about tops lately. I'm big enough that my tops are too short, and so mostly I wear scrub tops, t-shirts, and to look fancy, some button-up shirts that I can not button-up, with an undershirt. To church I wore a skirt, also from Amy, that was a size bigger than my skirts. The MOST annoying thing about my changing body....I had to buy another bra yesterday. I've known I needed to for the last week, and finally it was bothersome enough that I did. I have now gone up FOUR bra sizes. It's ridiculous, I know. Plus, its getting expensive!

My happiest pregnancy symptom: I feel baby Ruthie kick ALL THE TIME! Especially at work, when I lean over in a funny position to clean a back wisdom tooth or something, I can tell she doesn't like it at all. She kicks and kicks until I sit up straighter. Haahaa. Last night she was kicking quite a bit and Sterling could feel it too!!! He was pretty excited, cause I think he's felt a bit left out that I have been feeling it for the past little while, and he can't. It's definitely exciting and fun.

We also got car seats from Sterling's brother Brandon and Jessica!!!! They have twins, and they told us they'd give us both bases if we wanted. We only have one vehicle, but who knows if that might change, or what might be convenient later on with baby sitters, so we said we'd take it. Then, because we're taking both bases anyways, they just gave us both car seats! I don't know what we'll do with the other one, but for free, I suppose we'll let it kick around for a bit while we find a good use for it. They had boys, but the colors are a pretty neutral grey and red. I pulled everything apart on Saturday and sent everything throught the washing machine, and now I feel really excited about them! Unfortunately, its another thing to put in our tiny second bedroom that is already overflowing with baby items (the bassinet) and food storage. We'll probably have to take the futon and tv out sometime soon, because you can hardly get in there to watch a movie anyway, and then we can start setting it up for baby! But I was hoping we'd have more room for a little while longer so we could continue watching movies in there. Oh well. It's exciting!

Thats about all I can think of. I'm almost half-way!!!! Yay for five months!!!