Shannon Lorie Haws

 I refer to my blog for any facts about any of my other babies, so I thought I really *had* to get a post up of Shannon's birth!

As per my usual, I had been having contractions for several weeks leading up to hitting 37 weeks (which is when I had my last few babies) and so it was a constant mind game of wondering how long the contractions would last and if they would lead to anything. They never do. It's miserable, haha.  So when I hit 37 weeks I felt huge, exhausted, and like going any longer was going to be more than I could take. My OB kept laughing at me because this baby was doing EVERYTHING different. I told her that I always went three weeks early, but then there I was on her exam table for an appointment at 37 weeks. I told her I was always dilated to a four or five, but I hadn't gotten past 3. I told her my babies were always breech and had to have a version, but THANKFULLY this time around baby had been head down for a LONG time. She was super nice and told me she'd sweep my membranes if I wanted. She said she wasn't worried about baby's size because she kept measuring fine. 

It was the last week of school so I had preschool graduation for Gracie, Kindergarten graduation for Russell, end of year orchestra, etc, etc, I don't even remember anymore. But it's the May crazy with all the things planned. 

The first day after the membrane sweep, nothing. The next day I started having contractions in the evening, which was so normal that I wasn't even paying that close of attention to them. The kids had their last day of school in the morning so we were doing all of the things, and then they all went to bed. I couldn't sleep, so I went out to sleep on the couch. The couch had felt more comfortable to sleep on during this pregnancy, which is HILARIOUS because that couch was originally my sister Megan's, then she upgraded and gave it to my sister Kami, then Kami moved to Colombia and loaned all her stuff to us while she's there (she comes back in November and I'm going to have to get a new couch, washing machine, trampoline, pouf...the list is endless and I am so sad, but happy to have her back haha) so the couch is really old, and you can feel springs, and Sterling just cannot figure out how I found it comfortable at all. It's a mystery to both of us. But it was. Laying on the couch didn't help, sitting in my chair didn't help, kneeling beside the couch kind of helped. At 9pm-ish I was sitting on the couch and wiggling my hips around trying to get comfortable-and my water broke. WHAT? Another thing that has NEVER HAPPENED before haha. I walked into the bedroom and told Sterling "so, I'm pretty sure my water just broke." and he goes "Really? you sure?" and then we just went back to doing our normal things, haha. So basically I spent a few uncomfortable hours and the entire time was just wishing they'd go away so I could sleep because I'd been sleeping so terrible. And they were completely inconsistent-14 minutes apart, 11 minutes apart, 5 minutes apart, then back up to 13 minutes apart, etc.

I texted my sisters on our group chat at 3:09am (my sister in Maine gets up at 5am and she was asking about baby) "Water broke at 9pm. I've never had that happen before so that was kind of weird and exciting. No baby. Trying to decide (again) if I should go in yet or not. Super painful contractions, not truly regular. Making me use the bathroom over and over." Around 330 in the morning I decided I'd wake Sterling up because the contractions were just getting SO PAINFUL. But still completely inconsistent. We figured we could just leave because Ruth was home, and when she left for school we planned on either having Sterling come back to the house to get the other kids to school or call someone to come over. He gave me a blessing in the car in the parking lot because I'd forgotten to ask before we walked out.

Walked into the hospital and it was SO wonderful. After living through health care in Florida I will always be 1000x grateful for health care in Utah. Walked right in. Told them my water had broken a few hours before and that my contractions were getting intense but not consistent. They took me right in to a delivery room because the hospital was empty and no one needed it and they checked me and I was at a 7. Which made me feel a whole heck of a lot better because I was so worried about coming in and having them say I wasn't even dilated past the 3 I was already at. I don't know why I was worried about that-but I just think it would have felt especially silly since this was baby number six and I should have it figured out. But as previously stated, nothing was following my usual experiences. 

They asked me if I wanted an epidural because they'd have to call the anesthetist to come in to the hospital and they needed to do it right away since I was at a seven. I had hemmed and hawed about getting an epidural my entire pregnancy. On one hand, the two deliveries that I had not had an epidural felt like recovery was AMAZING. And I really, really, really hate the feeling of the epidural going in. Really really hate it. On the other hand, after birth uterine contractions are brutal and have gotten worse each time. Since I was at a 7 and likely to only get the epidural by the time things were most painful, I decided that yes, I did want one.

When the anesthesiologist came in he was chatting about how he met us somewhere at some function, and I had zero recollection. He was pretty cool though, which put me more at ease. I am exceedingly doubtful of any anesthesiologist being good at their job unless they are my sister, Megan. That kicked in, but never really on the lower left of my belly, which was a little annoying, but actually okay because I don't like being so numb that you can't even move. 

I felt like I should push, but my doctor wasn't there. The nurse said I was at a 2+ which I didn't really know what that meant-but they were getting ready to deliver without my doctor. But the same thing happened as when I had Will--doctor finally arrived and then my body was like j/k we're going to take a ten minute commercial break. I don't remember how long I pushed for after that, it was a bit longer than I thought because Grace had been about three pushes, but it wasn't very long. My doctor thinks the cord might have been attached funny because it kept pulling her back in a bit, and then she was stuck on her shoulder--she kept putting her hand up by her face, just like it had been in every single ultrasound haha. I was very happy at that point that I had an epidural. 

Babies being born is truly miraculous and also crazy and you never seem to remember how hard it is and how fragile you feel and how worrisome it is and somehow I'm always minus a full nights sleep. She was born at 5:55am (so two hours after arrival), was 6 pounds 15 ounces, and 20 inches long. Born on May 23, 2024. The minute she was born she starting LOUDLY sucking and rooting and all of the nurses were laughing at how immediate that was. Latched right away. Instant ease. But she was NOT OK that the milk was not readily available yet, haha. She actually had a really, really rough first night (after her first day) because she thought she was absolutely starving. At about 4am--when she was almost 24 hours old--I actually had the nurse give me some formula to give her, in this nifty little sucking straw that they attach to me so they are actually sucking on you but getting stuff out of the straw--so that she would calm down. Worked like a charm. In three months she hasn't changed--needs food instantaneously when she wants it, but absolutely happy as a clam once she's fed. And a day later there was no lack of food. 

The placenta struggled to come out, she had to reach in and pull around for a LONG time and then I was EXTREMELY grateful for the choice to have an epidural. My doc was also very worried about blood loss since I was so anemic and had to have iron infusions during my pregnancy, so they gave me some pitocin to help everything stop bleeding. But if I remember right (and it's amazing how much I feel like I've already forgotten in three months, I really really should have written this earlier) it was smooth sailing after that (I mean, sleep deprivation, hemorrhoids, engorgement...the normal smooth sailing!). She looks SO much like Ruth it's crazy-I've never had two babies look so much alike. It is *still* a constant debate about her hair color. It's definitely red, the jury is still out over just how red it will be or stay. She's gorgeous and beautiful and we love her so.

Ruthie has temple every Thursday morning with our ward youth group. So she got up to go and realized we were gone. So she let everyone know we were having a baby! And she was not wrong. Our neighbors heard that from her and came over and grabbed Gracie, and Sterling went home and sent everyone else to school for their last day of school. He went to Russell's kindergarten graduation assembly and then brought Russell to meet the baby afterwards. So Russ was the first one to meet her! In the evening, after feeding them all dinner, Sterling brought all the kids to meet her. I'd been despairing about naming her ALL DAY because I just couldn't quite decide between a few. So we had a family vote and named her Shannon Lorie. I still sometimes think I should have just named her Lorie, after my mom, and called her Lorie Louise. But we love Shannon as a name so much too. She now gets called Shae, Shae-Shae, The Chubstress, Shan Shan, The Queen, Shannon-ana-agins, and whatever else they want to call her at any given time.

Taking her home was wild. To go from completely independent children to having a teeny tiny newborn was crazy. We had a few days with Sterling home and he did a great job of keeping all the kids occupied and then my awesome sister-in-law Bridget came and took my kids to her house (from Vernal to West Valley!) so I got a complete break, and it was just what I needed. 

The she definitely became baby number six-within two weeks she was traveling and visiting family, being squished by absolutely everyone, she even went camping at two weeks old! 

The adoration of her siblings has still not worn off--she is everyone's favorite and the amount of kisses she gets is unending. We love her so much! And three months later-I'm feeling good, even started running this week, and so so happy to have her here!

Journaling 9/12/23

 The Come Follow Me lesson for this week says to think about ways your trials can be a blessing. That there is a great purpose and blessing in tribulation. We, by keeping our covenants, are being polished. Medical school is a very interesting thing because after thirteen years of working towards a goal, suddenly, seemingly overnight, you are flipped. Instead of being the lowest of the low on the totem pole and having to work endless hours or face reprimands, instead of making nothing and barely scraping by and dreaming that someday it will change-suddenly it does. I mean, sort of. We still have LOADS of debt to pay back and I'm crossing my fingers we can afford a house someday, haha. But Sterling doesn't answer to anyone else--his time is his own and people turn to ask him questions, instead of demanding of his time and demanding he do menial tasks all of the time. Instead of having absolutely no family time--we suddenly get to spend time with him (it already feels too little, and that makes me feel guilty because it is so so much more than we are accustomed to and I feel so much gratitude, but also, why are my kids' lives flashing before me eyes!??!?!) and we suddenly get to implement things that were really difficult for our family to be able to do before--like FHE, family scripture study, family council. We certainly strived for these things, but then when Sterling was unable to make it frequently...(ever)...it was really hard for me to muster the energy to keep everyone alive AND keep all those plates spinning. And now we have older kids with lots of activities so even though Sterling might make it--it's still really hard to plan those things in. But we are trying! 

Our Relief Society lesson on Sunday brought some old tribulations to mind. Like moving to Miami and living in a bilingual ward and having the entire culture be so different from everything I'd ever known and having three kids three and under and playing the organ and being in the primary presidency and not having a husband, or having a husband who had to catch up on homework all day after church, and, and, and....it was rough. I shared a story that I hate sharing because I still feel ashamed about it. After a few months into a calling of nursery leader (which I did while basically nursing Molly the entire time I walked around a sang to kids and fed them snacks because otherwise she was bawling) and coming home and crying every day over how exhausted I was and how I never felt the spirit--I didn't want to cry anymore. Sterling had a free Sunday where he was home and since he was never around--I wanted family time. I wanted to actually enjoy my family. I craved feeling happy together and having my spirits lifted. So we packed up (Sterling incredulous but supportive of my crazy the entire time) and drove down to my favorite beach in the Keys. Instead of church. And it was glorious. It was! The sun was beautiful. The water pristine. My kids were laughing and enjoying themselves. Sterling loved holding Molly and getting her to sleep. I got to sit on a towel and soak in that gorgeous sunshine and the laughter of my kids. A golden memory. And I knew as soon as we came home that I would never, ever do that again. Church is what I wanted for my family. Gospel lessons. Christ as the forefront person in my children's lives. 

 I have since recounted that story to a close friend in Delray Beach, and she cried. She said she thinks I had that experience just for her--to connect with someone who is struggling coming to church, because that is something I have never really felt before or after. That's true, I'm sure. But it was also for me to have a moment to reflect on Satan's way, and the Lord's way. The Lord did not promise that His way was easy---and Miami did not get any easier any faster--but He did promise that the polishing that was being performed, that "after much tribulation come the blessings." 

Last night my kids were jumping on the tramp in this BEAUTIFUL September evening, after a hilarious FHE where Grace was in charge of the lesson, so we followed the outline in the Friend magazine and talked about how our bodies as individuals in the church work together--just like our body parts work together so we can dance, and we had a family dance party to "We Are Family" and ended with brownies and vanilla ice cream. Sterling started mowing the lawn, I did dishes, the kids got ready for bed. They are not perfect (we had a whole emergency family meeting for how not-perfect our household was been lately haaahaaa) but the moment was. And today I reflected on the contrast. I think my joy is enhanced because we had been doing what we were asked to--we'd prayed together and studied scripture together, and then we'd had fun together. And it brought real joy. Trials can often bring us perspective when we ponder on them afterwards. 

New Utah Life

 We moved to Utah. Sterling finished residency. Ruthie started Middle School. And today-Grace started preschool three times a week for two hours (which I'm already realizing is too short to accomplish much). It feels very surreal today. Sitting at my kitchen table, house completely silent, staring out at our own backyard (well, we have a rental, but it's ours for now), having just stopped at a case lot sale. HAHA--case lot sale!??!! Those things don't even exist in Florida. We also did not have a house. Or a backyard. We didn't have a bus that picked up kids. We didn't have neighbors that left garden fresh vegetables in 5 gallon buckets on our doorstep (although-Audrey and I had a pretty sweet food sharing gig when we were both baking haha). We didn't water our lawn. It wasn't 47 degrees when we woke up in the morning!! Pretty much everything that could change in a life, has. It's pretty wild actually. But also, it feels really normal.

We love Vernal. We love how close we are to loads of hiking, fishing, lakes to play on, and camping. We love the community, everyone has been so nice and welcoming, we've been invited to dinner almost every Sunday since we moved in. We love the rec center and their classes and child care and swimming pool. All the things that we were looking forward to in our faraway future--are here! Time with Sterling. No commute. 

It isn't all unicorns and rainbows--Sterling works quite a bit more than we'd like right now. His team is all brand new which means there is a lot of little things they don't have running smoothly yet. He comes across glitches, like yesterday a patient that he saw said their insurance didn't work--but Sterling is supposed to be in network, so they had to figure all that out. It's a new EMR system so he's setting up all his note taking, etc. We're still waiting on our insurance to come through and that was supposed to be finished August 1. Ya know, the annoying little real life things--but it's coming along.

Last week Ruth started piano lesson and yesterday Molly and Will started lessons (Ruth has a different teacher, everyone here is booked, so I couldn't get all three with the same teacher unless we did different days and really late times, so Ruth's lesson is the same time as the other two and I just drive her right over after dropping them off.). Ruthie has YW and every week they do a morning session at the temple. We have a chore chart and Saturday work assignments on the fridge. The routine has begun.

Now that school has started with its hum drum pace of life-it's starting to sink in that we live here now. That we're not going back to Florida after this extended summer vacation. That Sterling doesn't have to work nights or weekends. Like I said, it's all very surreal. We worked towards this "ending" for almost 13 years.  We miss Florida like crazy, I miss my friends so much, and I am NOT sure how I feel about our freezing mornings already. But it's very, very good. 

Minister

 I feel like journaling about this. I don't know why I'm not a more private person and why I feel like posting it here, but whatever. This last weekend we had a miscarriage. Well, we made my body miscarry because the baby no longer had a heartbeat. To arrange babysitting, I let a couple of my closest friends know that very first day--throughout which I mostly cried (and through some incredible miracle of the heavens, Sterling was there for). Thank goodness for the ease of texting.

My friend, who has a heart of gold and is everyone's best cheerleader, and the world's best ministering sister (and who is not of my LDS faith and has no idea what that means to me)---immediately left her kids with a friend and came over to my house. Came upstairs, knocked on my bedroom door (where I had to quickly throw clothes on, because apparently I like to mourn naked), and crushed me in a hug. We both sobbed and she said "I know you probably don't want me here, but I just had to come and hug you. And tell you that I love you." She sat down on the bed and we hugged and sobbed some more, and then she said "Excuse my language, but fuuuuuuuuuuck." and we both sobbed harder.

Since then we have received, from her and other great friends in our beautiful village here, meals and treats and flowers and babysitting and all of the wonderful things that have buoyed us up. Honestly, I have never been so well taken care of and felt such an outpouring of love. We have had other really hard times when I cried and prayed to God that someone would notice us and help...and even though we made it through, it has never been like this. And I just can't be grateful enough. 

But that one swear word? Man, talk about bearing another's burden and mourning with those who mourn. Nothing else felt so sincere and so right. It encompassed all of my feelings and made me feel seen. She immediately left me to myself so she wouldn't be a bother, and later gave her secret knock at my door (she has a secret knock with Ruthie, because she doesn't mind Ruthie coming over to help her with the kids whenever, but other neighbors are not so welcome HAHA), and handed me a bag of ice cream and chocolate bars. Still feeling pregnant, the dairy has not been good to me, so I didn't really want to eat any of it. But she knew me, she knew thats exactly what I would theoretically want, and she brought over a whole pile. Which is incredibly thoughtful because five years ago she brought me wine. In all honesty, she probably wanted to bring me wine-I can hear her saying that if there was ever a time for a Mormon to drink alcohol, it would be now (she didn't, but I can hear it). But she brought me ice cream and chocolate because she knew me. So I could cry it all out all over again. 

Resolutions 2023

Seek and Enjoy!

I used to pick a word every year to focus on. That fell by the wayside over the last few years, and this year  as I was running I was thinking that it might be good to have a focus again. My biggest goal for the year for myself is to go to bed early. I have spent NINE YEARS (well, almost thirteen, really) with this hope that I can go to bed WITH my husband. Except I can't. He stays up late every single night either still at work, at home working on notes, or at home/work working on modules for his program. He literally never goes to bed with me. But I really don't like going to bed by myself. So I put it off. Some nights I'm better than others. I usually am in bed between 1030-11pm, but its often later. I know, and have known, for a long time, that it's just too late. I can't have the dreamy morning filled with scripture study and making breakfast and sending my kids off with a devotional thought if I go to bed that late. Not only that, by 2pm (when my kids get home from school) I'm tired and grumpy. I obviously need more sleep. But I don't do it. This year, I'm hoping I put myself to bed before/at 10pm MUCH more regularly. I've been doing pretty well. Funnily enough, the only nights I've been up later is because Sterling has happened to BE home and hanging out with me a couple of times haha. And early bedtime means a better morning. Hopefully more scripture study in my life. More scriptures thrown at my children. And a less ornery afternoon mom. 

Also this is my year to study the scriptures. I have spent the past (probably ten years...ugh I hate writing that) sliding through my scripture study. Sometimes doing better than others, but often considering a quick three to five minute glance over a part of Come, Follow Me sufficient. And maybe it was sufficient for a space of time in my life. But it has gone on much too long and I have the capacity to increase and I am not, and I am not challenging myself spiritually and I want to, I should be studying. My definition of studying is time at a table, being able to write out notes, and spend 10+ minutes. There's a whole slew of things I would love to see happen as a result of this study. But this is the goal. 

The overarching idea for the year is to Seek and Enjoy! I have lived for six years in the same house and neighborhood. I have never lived anywhere that long in my entire life. I feel grounded and happy and fulfilled here. I have a support system the likes of which I have never experienced in my life prior to living here. I love it. It is beautiful. Moving and leaving that is going to be so. dang. hard. I don't even like to think about it. But there is SO MUCH I am excited for. Mountains. Seasons. A house. A yard. My kids insist a dog. A husband who works regular hours and maybe will be home for dinner (say what?!?!?!?!?!). No traffic. Cheaper kids activities. More family activities. A bigger youth program for Ruthie and the following kids (maybe one that doesn't cancel every other week because there's only going to be one girl there?). So I want to "seek" in my scriptures and grow and learn and become a committed disciple this year, but I also want to "seek" out the good experiences. When we move, I want to remind myself that I have to be the one to get outside my comfort zone to make friends. Invite people over. Try new things and activities. I have to seek out friendships and seek out experiences that will help grow a community and support system in Vernal. 

I also want to ENJOY! I want to enjoy Florida for these last six months like my life depends upon it. (Financially, of course, this is incredibly tricky---luckily the beach is free!!!!) There is so much I do not like about Florida (thank you, grain mites, that love humidity and I found eating our popcorn kernels in a five gallon bucket on Sunday, I DO NOT LIKE YOU) but there is so much I can't even imagine not having. No beach? No sunshine? Shorts and sandals all day every day? I want to enjoy it so so much and just remind myself that we'll be packing and cleaning this house up soon enough, it should just be a stopping point to dump off wet towels and get dry ones!! And then I want it to continue to Vernal--ENJOY the new surroundings, enjoy the seasons and the new people we meet and the new experiences our kids will be having. I want my focus to be on enjoying it and hopefully that will make it less crazy and stressful haha. 

So. Seek and Enjoy. And early bedtime. Check back in another ten years, we'll see if I've figured it out by then? 

 

Merry Christmas 2022

 

Merry Christmas

and happy holidays! We’re just over here trying to soak up ALLLL the Florida we can. Sterling is finishing up his last year of residency. He works a ton. Never sleeps. Lives off caffeine and horrible hospital food (their kitchen had a fire and they just serve heated food ) and occasionally we get to see him. On a brighter note, I’m living my best life at the beach and in the sunshine with the kids . I work for a friend baking once a week and I teach Russ’s preschool on rotation. I’m still teaching the kids piano and between those things and keeping everyone alive and fed-it stays pretty busy! We spent this summer in Utah/Idaho and I was able to sub at my favorite office again-which I love even if it’s crazy! Ruth is in 5th grade and trying all the things-choir, drum, yearbook, and we still have piano and a theory class going. She is incredibly helpful and has started babysitting! Her favorite hobbies are reading and holding all the neighborhood babies. Will is in 4th grade and is all about drawing and legos. He likes to whittle branches and build paper airplanes and origami swords. He’s also a fantastic singer-although he does have to be bribed . Molly is in 2nd grade, she sings 24/7 and still wants to be an entomologist-she shows us all the bugs! She was baptized this year and she just keeps growing up on me. Russ does preschool with two other little boys and he has constant questions. What letter is this? What does this say? What is two plus two? He is super proud when he writes his name on every paper and will definitely be ready for kindergarten next year. He is a riot and is always proving his strength and muscle. Grace just turned four last week and loves to show off how she can do flips (somersaults) outside and inside of water. Haha. She scares all the parents on our ride to school by going so fast on her scooter and she freaked me out the other day by climbing waaay too high in a tree. Fearless. This year we had two camping adventures in Florida and lots of summer hiking fun. We have been lifted up by so many friends and family this year-thanks and love to you all. Stay warm and have a happy new year! #happyhaws

Here

 I last blogged December of 2020, so it has been three years. I switched to instagram because of chatbooks and ease and my frustration with loading pictures on blogger, and mostly because of being busy. But lately I've been hankering, and prompted, to start journaling. I've put it off. For quite too long. And I've tried to think through how I want to restart. I have a written journal, but I haven't touched that for even longer than I have touched my blog. I don't like the time and effort it takes to hand write things, even though I know it would be a beautiful remembrance of my awful handwriting (too bad I didn't inherit gorgeous handwriting from my mother). So I wanted to type. In the end, I decided dusting off this old blog was the best idea for now so I would just start already!

So it's November of 2022. In the past few years there's been a worldwide pandemic, leading to online learning for a year and a half in Florida, leading to me homeschooling for a year while Ruth was in 3rd, Will in 1st and Molly in Kindergarten. Now they are all back at school and this year it is Russ and Grace at home and Russ is in Joy School-which I put together with a couple moms in our stake-on Tuesdays and often an activity on Thursdays, and mostly I'm just manning the crazy around here. I also bake on Mondays for my friend's business and that is both helpful financially and fun for me.

Right now I'm sitting on my front porch, with the too hot sun streaming down, watching Russ and Grace build magnatile creations to house their Paw Patrol and princess figurines which are the current favorites. Walmart sells these little two inch princess toys at the checkout stand for an astronomical five bucks (basically, I think) and over the last year we have accrued 8-10 of them and I guess its been worth it since she drags them everywhere we go. I'm waiting for the cooler fall weather of Florida where we can go outside without sweating, but it hasn't appeared yet. Last week was Halloween and it was epic. No one was puking (we've had that several years), everyone was excited and understood what was happening, and my neighborhood is MASSIVELY into decorations and smoke machines and dressing up and giving out things like donuts and chips and alcoholic beverages (which we decline haha). I told a friend in our stake that if she needed somewhere to take her little boy, ours was the neighborhood. She came and she could not get over it. They close down the street via a fire truck and so you can literally just cross and walk around. She said "It's just like the movies! Kids in massive hordes running across the streets! Everyone standing on their porch with friends and family, drinking and handing out candy! Music and decorations and all the people young and old in costumes!" It's truly, as I said, epic. 

We have some really big changes happening in our family, but it's a weird point to be in. We've known we are moving to Vernal for the past two years (as evidenced by the most recent posts, two years ago, on this blog). And we know this is our last year in Florida. So everything feels very important--our last Halloween. Our last year at this school--on my mind recently due to the exorbitant price I just paid for elementary school yearbooks. I was conned into this because Ruthie has gone to this school from Kindergarten through fifth. I never went to a school that long. I went to three elementary schools, two junior highs, and two high schools. Because of how our school is set up with their ridiculous "gifted" program, Ruth has been in the same exact class most of her years in school. She knows these kids. And Will is in fourth, so it's not that different, he's just less outgoing about it haha. So what's weird about this time of life is we're already celebrating and focusing on the 'lasts' and yet we can't really plan the future-it's too far out. We can't look at houses (I found my dream home, it went off the market, and I swore off Zillow after that.) for a few more months, until we do find a house, we can't really plan when we'll be moving. That might also affect whether or not we fly and ship our things or drive and haul it. For a planner, this is extremely annoying haha. I want to set it all down, have the dates, have the plans, dream the dreams, and work towards it all! We are, just slowly. Sterling is officially licensed now, so we're hoping that over Thanksgiving break he can pick up some moonlighting. This has been a long time coming, and I still wonder when in the world he is going to find time out of his already insane schedule to work more, but it's been the goal and we've reached it, so yay? 

One thing about moving that I am super sad about is the incredible support system I have here. Our washing machine was broken for the last three and a half weeks. I never went to the laundromat. Not once. Oh the memories of living in Miami and having a broken washing machine (I think it was four months) and trying to entertain three kids three and under for two plus hours while we hung out at a nasty inner city laundromat. I could cry for younger me. Man, there were so many hard things about Miami. But here? I had FOUR friends on my street instantly offer theirs up. It worked out magically because one went on vacation for a week and gave me a key to her place, I just used hers as I would mine for that week and on her last day of vacation I caught everything up. (Plus, I got all my steps in lugging our laundry up to her THIRD floor!) Then we were fine for a week and then my other friend went on vacation and did the same thing--key to her house! It was a simple thing for them to do, but really I am still just overcome with gratitude. And now, voila, a new washing machine for me! These guys are here for me when my kids are sick, when I can't pick kids up from school, when I need a birthday party but they know I am incompetent, for beach days, but MOST IMPORTANTLY they are there on the regular. Almost daily after school friends at the park. We take out our camping chairs, moms set up and sit and chat. Kids play on the playground. For hours. Every day. Filling up those hours with happy, happy memories instead of depressing and overwhelming time alone. We don't have backyards. We don't have anywhere to send our kids where they can play unwatched and unattended. But we have the park, on our street, where we all parent together. And it is totally how I have survived since COVID. In my memory, when we were newlyweds in South Ogden with only Ruthie as a baby, I had a really hard time finding mom friends because it seemed like EVERYONE had their own mom and sisters to spend their time with. I have a worry that Vernal will be the same. No one will be mean, but no one will need a friend as much because they have all their family around them. We'll see.

Ruthie just got called as our ward chorister. She starts on Sunday and I am so excited for here. This is one of the fantastic things about living in South Florida-every ward is just trying to survive. And when someone moved out and the only musical family already is providing the organist--why not call the daughter? Haha. I'm excited because she just started this theory class, and so I'm going to ask the teacher to add in leading as well. So she'll learn a bit from someone that is not me (which is good ) as well as from me because the class is only every other week and she's going to be leading every week. With piano, drums, choir, and theory--she's got a lot of music happening right now!

There's a lot of decisions that have been nagging my brain lately. And I have been trying really, really hard to better understand personal revelation and improve my ability to receive it and act on it. I feel like the Lord has told me that He will strengthen me to accomplish the good things I desire to do. Hopefully there will also be more journaling about the journey as I go! 

Pool Day Dec 2020