Tuesday, April 24, 2018

I am my mother + a rant

Last night Sterling was home at five. He was supposed to be home at 2. But...life with med school. UGH. But I had waited to go grocery shopping because he was going to come home and go with me at 2. Of course that didn't happen, but that meant I still didn't go because I wasn't going to take FOUR kids when I can usually go on a morning with just two. POINT OF STORY--I went grocery shopping by myself while he made tacos and fed the kids dinner. Only, I then decided to look at running shoes because mine are biting the dust and I don't want to push my luck and die on my half with a brand new pair.

I walked into Dick's Sporting Goods because I already have a brand and style that I like. Just needed to find that version and purchase it. Went to the women's shoes section, found the Brooks brand, and all the names were different then when I last purchased shoes. So I went to find an employee. After five minutes, I went to the front and asked for some help in shoes, to which the helpful clerk replied "There is already someone back there." Ummm...I would not have walked all the way up there if I had not deduced otherwise, jerk. Walked back to the shoe department and after a few minutes someone did materialize. I pointed to my feet and told him I wanted the same shoe but the name seemed to have changed. He walked me over to the entire wall of Brooks and said "These are our Brooks." and then stood there. Uhhhhhh, thank you?????? So I said "Is there any more information that you could give me?" and he looked annoyed and said he'd go get someone else who would know more. After more waiting another guy came up and I said "Hey, I have the GTS right now, or at least thats what it says on the tongue. Do you know which of these is that version?" No....but here are the running shoes. WHY DOES NOBODY KNOW THEIR JOB?!?!? Sterling always tries to calm me down on these issues because they are just basic level hirees. That doesn't help, because I worked in a shoe department for three years in college and I KNEW MY SHOES. They give you magazines to learn about them.

Anyway. I was sick of Dick's, so I left and googled a running store. Walked in, pointed to my feet and said "These say GTS on the tongue. I want them again." and the helpful man smiled and said "That's the Brooks adrenaline, I'll bring it right out." and I was instantaneously happy and feeling like the world was full of roses. He then proceeded to have me stand on their little machine and pointed out my feet oddities and then said that the shoes I'd been in were great for my feet (I'd been fitted for them in Miami) and offered to let me try on some Altra because my family is love with that brand (they felt weird...I stuck with Brooks). He then helped me size them correctly because my feet have grown with pregnancies. I then asked him about how to carry water on long runs and he showed me a few things and mentioned "This is where you put your gel." "GEL?" he smiled and launched into an explanation of running gel. And then asked me what race I was running--I said one in Utah, which might be tough because I'm training here. He said I needed to run bridges--and told me about a running club that runs bridges here in Delray Beach every other Thursday night. I left, absolutely blown away with his customer service.

Guys. Why is customer service so hard to find? And the reason I labeled this post "I am my mother" is because when I act like this Sterling gets embarrassed. When I am annoyed at people for not knowing their job. When I continue to ask questions about things I know nothing about. It used to be uncomfortable for me to watch my mom do the exact same thing. In supermarkets, in mattress stores, getting garden seeds. But when I was in high school, something she had said over and over and over and OVER again finally sunk in. If you don't ask, you will never learn. She is an incredible example to me of someone who is constantly learning--and isn't ashamed or embarrassed to ask a question and another and another until she has a better grasp on what she is purchasing. And if you find the right person--their customer service does it for you. I now understand why she has a close relationship with her vacuum repairman. You gotta understand where your money is going!!!!

On to the next part of this post: a rant.

My kids are getting more and more adventurous and more independent. They have four strict rules outside-1) do not cross the street without mom 2) do not knock on people's doors without asking mom first if they can play 3) stay within a certain boundary and 4) do not pick flowers (our one neighbor has quite the collection and was very distraught when Molly picked his prized something or other a while ago). When we walk/bike to school they have one very strict rule--stop at the end of each sidewalk and wait for mom before crossing to the next sidewalk. And our safety rule for inside is- never open the door without waiting for mom or dad first.

Of course my kids are not perfect. Will ran into the street in front of our house just last week and gave our elderly neighbor some grief. She was not impressed. To Will's credit--he was only following after two other big boys that he'd been playing with. I have now watched him play with those boys and stop on the sidewalk while they go out further, which makes me happy. But kids will make mistakes. I have to say though--they follow their bike rule SO WELL. I can't even remember the last time they didn't stop and wait for me at the end of a block of sidewalk. The crossing guard and the policewoman who directs traffic have both commented multiple times on how well-behaved my children are. If they are pretty far ahead of me (can happen when I'm helping Molly or something) they come up to the end of the street, stop, and stand on the second to last sidewalk square and stay there chatting with the crossing guard.

Okay so this means my kids go ahead of me an entire block and then wait for me to catch up. The last part of our walk, before we cross the street to the school is a dead-end road. We go through a fence to get onto that street from our complex. The fence goes the entire length of the road--so there are only houses on one side. Five houses. And no sidewalk. Dead end. Because there is rarely traffic from those five houses, my kids usually head at break-neck speed down the middle of the road until they stop at the crossing guard, just like I said. My kids, and about five other families' kids. There are cars occassionally, and my kids know how to pull over onto the grass until the car passes.

This morning there was a car. Probably because we were later than usual. After I watch her pass my kids slowly, and my kids pull over onto the grass before she even got near them, she pulled up to me and rolled down her window. She said "I just want to let you know that it really scares me that your kids ride their bikes down this street. Not only are there cars, but they could fall. And you should be right beside them when they are biking. Right beside them. It just makes me so nervous to see them riding their bikes!"

I smiled and nodded and said have a nice day. But WHAAAAAT?!?!?! It makes her nervous to see kids riding their BIKES?!?!?!?! This world is absolutely ridiculous. Our society is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, not only do five other families from our complex ride up and down the same street morning and afternoon every single day on their bikes, but also--you really think that a parent should be directly beside their child at all times?

I believe kids should learn. My kids love the independence of their bikes. They were all waiting for me at the fence, just like they have been taught, after I hurried to catch up from the lady talking to me. And yes, they might fall. Kids do fall on bikes. Bikes have that natural hazard. Molly did fall, just yesterday. And no, I was not directly beside her, I was a couple paces behind because it's difficult to push the stroller through the fence. Another mother, walking her two sons, was directly beside her and immediately scooped her up. I was there two seconds later and gave her love and she was fine and back on her bike and on her way.

I do not expect other people to parent for me. If that other mom hadn't been there, Molly could have cried for the two seconds it took me to catch up and then she would have been just as fine. There would be no lasting trauma because her mom was a couple paces behind her.

But the confidence I see on my kids' face as they show me their bike tricks--going off the curb is a new one around here, which they do on the park's parking lot by our house--is priceless. They are learning to do things all by themselves, without mom's help. And I found it absolutely awful that a lady felt that my kids should not be allowed to go ahead of me and bike down a nearly empty street.

I understand that every situation is different. My kids never biked on streets in Miami--we took their bikes to parks. Because the traffic was insane and nobody was watching. I used my personal judgement and this street is completely safe. In fact, when cars do drive past, it's a great learning opportunity for my kids to be able to react to that. Kids have to learn. And they are kids. So they will get hurt along the way. But they will also build confidence.

I'm ready for that 70 acres in Montana now, Sterling!

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