A Moment

It's late. I guess 11pm isn't incredibly late, except when this morning Molly woke up at 4 and stayed awake until 5:45 and Will woke up at 5:52. Awesome-sauce. 

The point of that rambling sentence was, I really want to post this, even though it's late. Because...

Tonight I put Molly in these exact pajamas:

Molly is one month younger than Ruthie is in these photos, but they look pretty similar. Ruthie has longer hair, but it's more patchy than Molly's. Ruth's two bottom teeth look a bit more grown in, but Molly has a month to grow them still. Ruth has shocking red hair and missing eyebrows. Molly is much skinnier and missing the chin-chub. 

But tonight, putting Molly in those pajamas was more than a little bit sad. Brought this lump to my throat that I couldn't quite swallow. So I rocked Molly extra long tonight. I watched her smile in her sleep. I looked at her little chin and her dainty fingers. I smiled at her fluffy hair that pokes straight out from her head. 

I remembered exactly how Ruth was at this age. These were my favorite pajamas, and probably my very favorite article of clothing Ruthie ever wore. I even imagined my second girl wearing them when we found out we were having Molly because I loved them so much. Then I found myself crying because it all goes by so fast. 

I don't know what it is about me lately, but I feel like over Christmas Molly made that leap from newborn to baby--she's almost six months old!--and I'm struggling with leaving that newborn phase. You only get so many of them. They are so very short, and you spend too much of the time recovering and adjusting and figuring things out. 

I never wanted Ruthie to grow out of those pajamas, and now I especially don't want Molly to. It makes me cry all over again. These tiny little beings should be tiny forever. A mother should have a baby to rock forever. and ever. and ever. Amen.