Being a mother is so many wonderful things to me, although, that 'terrible two's' thing? They weren't joking. I guess can't complain too much, outside of some tantrums and 'mine' and 'no's' and a real inability to sit still, we are really lucky to have such a sweet little girl. I love my babies. I usually don't mind the spit up or the messy diapers or the crying incessantly(although sometimes it makes me want a burger. and ice cream. stat.). I could do without this new independence that my daughter suddenly thinks she has. Babies grow up? What? My sister warned me to have all my children before the first one was a teenager, or I won't want anymore. Sage advice. Right now every baby I have makes me want another one even more. I'm starting to understand why every grandma just can't get enough of holding every baby in sight. They are addicting. And perfect. And it lasts for such a TINY TINY TINY amount of time. It makes me want to have a thousand. Not when I really think about it, but just to be able to have a baby forever. Especially when they fit so perfectly into your arms, and lay their head so neatly snuggled into your neck, and feel so warm against you. Pure heaven.
I feel that. I love being a mother. It is all the little details that I do all day that make me love it. It is all the little details every day that make it hard. But I think because it is hard, we put so much into it, and that love that we start out with grows and grows until it makes all those hard little details worthwhile.
Elder Marvin J. Ashton: "What we serve we learn to love, and what we love takes our time, and what takes our time is what we love." (We Serve That Which We Love, Ensign (both quotes were cited in another blog, but since they are from church leaders, it is not really stealing, right?!?)
I often talk to my sisters while I and/or they are folding laundry, washing dishes, ironing, etc. It makes the work go by faster as well as keeping each other company from far away. I know now why they had quilting bees and corn husks---to make the work go by more easily. It is so comforting to me to have so many people I can talk to that understand my stage of life. I really don't think it is something that can be understood until you are a mother. Not by being an aunt at 8 years old and nannying your nieces and nephews until you go to college and constantly having some of the 30-odd grandkids underfoot. That experience taught me how to change diapers, how to warm up breast milk, how important nursing is, how to put kids on a schedule, how to bathe, clothe, lotion, and care for children. And I love the kids. But its not the same as being a mother. It definitely was incredible training, but not the same. Motherhood is a little piece of you being a part of somebody else and it makes your heart so big you don't think you can even handle it, but its so wonderful you want to do it all over again.
I am so very grateful that I am a mother. It is bigger and better than anything I could have done with my life and it makes me so happy. I'm not saying it isn't hard, I'm just saying that the hard stuff is what makes it so perfect. Now, I'll go wipe up messes and deal with tantrums and wonder why, exactly, do I love it all so much?!?!